In the last several weeks, I have seen countless social media posts using humor to cope with how difficult this year has been. These posts insinuate what others explicitly state, that people want to go back to normal. This is also something I often hear in therapy — the desire to go back to how things were, how the person used to be, etc.
Forget your old version of “normal.” Not only is “going back” not an option, it is ill-advised.
Sure, COVID-19 has thrown a wrench into all of our plans. And I just mean that for those of us that remain unaffected by the virus itself. It has done much more than “throw a wrench” at some people, as they have lost jobs, homes, their health, or lost loved ones to the virus.
But if your desire to “get back to normal” refers to the Black Lives Matter movement, then that is your first clue about your privilege.
I hope we don’t go back to the life we had before this year started. 2020 appears to be the year of major transformation. We are bringing to light the systemic problems in our society as a whole – from healthcare, education, capitalism, housing, legal system, etc. Our entire way of living and interacting with others needs to be reassessed.
When clients tell me that they want to get back to how they used to be or how life was X years ago, I challenge them on this. Was it really that great back then? Were you as aware and insightful back then as you are today? While the struggles along the way have probably been painful, disorienting, and maybe even overwhelming, you probably also did a lot of learning along the way. It’s these moments of difficulty where we can learn the most about ourselves, others, the world around us, and how we interact with it all.
Now let’s take a moment to examine some examples of what “going back” would look like, as far as our society is concerned:
- Not caring for the health and wellness of our community – ex: going to work or public places when sick
- Condoning or being complicit to overt racism
- Condoning or being complicit to covert racism and systems of oppression
- No accountability
- Lack of education or knowledge regarding public health
- Lack of education or knowledge regarding systemic racism and how it is weaved into every area of our society
- Dismissal of people’s feelings and lived experiences
- Oppression of other marginalized groups, including women, LGBTQ, etc
- No empathy of those with anxiety, depression, etc
While we still have a lot of work to do, individually and as a community, we are making progress. The issues that are in the spotlight in 2020 are showing us how harmful our individualistic approach to life is to our loved ones, neighbors, and community as a whole. We are stronger when we care about each other. We are stronger together.
So no, I do not want to “go back” to how things were. Do you?
