If you’ve been following along my journey so far, then you would know that there have been some difficult periods of time in my personal life. Unfortunately, life isn’t considerate enough to dump on us when we have the time, space, and emotional availability to deal with solely its issues. Life doesn’t wait for when you can take three months off work to pull an Eat, Pray, Love.
Life takes a shit on you when it damn well pleases.
We are left with having to roll with the punches and deal with it because everything else around us just keeps ticking on its regular schedule. The laundry still has to get done, the bills still have to get paid, the kids still have to be fed, and productivity still has to be met at work. While we talk a lot about self-care for clients and therapists alike, productivity demands make self-care almost impossible when working in community mental health.
This means that while I was in the midst of my struggle, I still had to show up to work as a therapist. Needless to say, it was a struggle.
It can be difficult to be fully present with clients, even on a good day. It’s easy to get distracted by the beautiful weather outside, the great time you had with friends the previous night, the thing you can’t forget to buy when you go to the grocery store later, etc. It takes effort to be present with someone while putting your personal opinions and feelings aside to help them to feel heard and process their feelings.
I have noticed that the universe has two trends when it comes to the clients I see. First, it sends me waves of new clients all dealing with the same issue. Second, if I’m dealing with something, then the new clients I get are dealing with the same issue.
Insert facepalm.
I hope that not only will the following information be of benefit to other therapists, but that it will also be beneficial to people in general.
Tips to get through work (or every day life) when it feels like your life is falling apart:
- Go to therapy! Don’t walk but run.
- If you are working with a therapist already, call them up and let them know you need to come in sooner or up those sessions from every two weeks to weekly.
- And if you don’t have a therapist — get one ASAP.
- Plan your meals.
- Appetite can swing from too much to too little when we are struggling. Be mindful and plan at least 3 small meals in your day. While riding the struggle bus, I had no appetite but found I could at least make myself nurse a smoothie while at work.
- Move your body.
- It’s easy to feel disconnected from yourself so get connected with your body through movement. Whether that’s time at the gym, a yoga class, or go for a ten minute walk outside.
- Speaking of outside — get some fresh air and Vitamin D
- There are many benefits to fresh air — from boosting your immune system to decreasing stress. Get outside and literally smell the roses.
- Sunshine is incredibly beneficial to your mental health. When I started to feel like I was getting sucked into the black hole of depression, I went to my PCP. After doing some blood work, he found that although I was hiking 1-2 times a week, I was dangerously low on vitamin D. I took the extra strength pills that he prescribed and felt drastically better. Please consult with a medical provider about this.
- Reach out to others.
- It’s really hard to ask for help. Society tells us to be selfless and independent — it’s bullshit. People need people. Reach out to family, friends, coworkers, supervisors, etc. Anyone that has been a good support to you — share with them that you are struggling.
- Get yourself a grounding tool.
- This is what helped me most when I was really struggling at work. I would hold a small grounding stone in my hand and just rub my thumb over it. It served to help remind me that I was in the present moment and to not float off into the thoughts of how life outside of my office felt like it was in shambles. You can utilize anything for this — a stone, crystal, ring (my cousin got me a great anxiety ring), necklace, etc. Nowadays I run one of my many bracelets through my fingers as a means to stay more present in the moment — even when things are okay in life.
- Stay hydrated — with water (I know what some of you were thinking!)
- What’s the saying — we are basically houseplants with emotions.
Those are the things got me through the workday. Therapy was extremely helpful to process my emotions and thoughts about the situation in my personal life so it wouldn’t leak into my work life. Honestly, my clients did not get the best version of me as a therapist during that time. But in a way it helped me to better understand them and the desperation that is felt when you’re struggling to emotionally stay afloat.
Once I got through the worst of it, work became a place of refuge. So recently when I hit some bumps in the road, I found work to be a helpful distraction. I felt much more capable of being in the moment with my clients while being able to check my shit at the door. Despite how difficult it can be to go through my own struggles while trying to help others, my own determination for resiliency has taught me how the human spirit can overcome and strengthen despite whatever life throws at you.
