This summer has been emotionally exhausting. I spent mid-May through June feeling completely drained. I felt the heaviness of the injustices in our country against our BIPOC community. Before the recent protests and marches started, I was reminded of the injustices I faced in my former work site after learning about malicious ways in which I was being targeted behind the scenes before I left. The BLM movement inspired me to address the abuses I experienced there by writing to the company CEO (more on that in a later post).
While I was addressing racial trauma and systemic oppression with that company, I was also:
- Doing the emotional labor of educating family and friends about their racist beliefs
- Continuing to work on educating myself on the topic
- Moved out of my office
- Had to find a new housing situation that would include space for a home office
I mentioned that this summer has been exhausting, right?
Then in the middle of all of that, I threw out my back. ::Insert facepalm here::
I have to admit, I had a bit of an existential crisis in that first hour of agonizing pain. I am quite used to doing things on my own. Honestly, I enjoy and take pride in my independence. The experience of hurting my back really forced me to slow down and learn to not only accept help but ask for it as well. This happened two weeks before having to move into my new home.
Hurting my back helped me to ground into the moment and find greater appreciation for my decisions, abilities, and for my amazing support system. Shout out to my incredible friends and family! They were willing to come out in the middle of summer, in the middle of a pandemic, to help me pack and move my belongings. The whole experience just really deepened my gratitude for others.
I realize that I haven’t really written much in these last several weeks, as I am still processing everything that has transpired and the insights and feelings it has all evoked. It doesn’t surprise me that I threw out my back two days after sending a very heavy, emotional email to my former employer. It was important for me to take that time for myself. I limited my social media posts and put a pause on the blog. I didn’t want to add to the useless noise that can already be found on the internet.
Now that Banksy the Cat/Intern and I are settled into our new home, I am re-assessing my goals and intentions in my interactions with others – professionally and personally.
I now feel re-energized, re-inspired, and motivated AF.
I am ready to take a deep dive into my goals. I am ready to keep using my voice to speak up against the injustices in the world. I am ready to lean into creative forms of expression. And as always, I’m ready to continue showing up as my most authentic self to support my clients and loved ones.
How are you hitting the emotional reset button this summer?
